The Importance of “Putting Yourself in the Same Position as the Other Person”: Zen Words

Relationship problems that we encounter in life.

“I wish this person would do this.
“I wish this person would do that.”
“I wish that person would do that.”

Have you ever thought like this?

If you have, this is the time to take advantage of Zen’s teachings.

The Zen word “Doji” means “to put oneself in the same position as the other person.

If you feel that you are being treated unfairly by those around you, or that things are not going conveniently, it is recommended that you reflect on how you are saying and doing things.

The important thing at this point is to think about how you would feel if you were in the other person’s shoes.

It may be difficult to do this, but the other person is just like you, and the most precious thing to them is themselves and their loved ones and family members.

Therefore, it is also important to take care of what they want to take care of.

For example.

Change the way you treat them.
Change the way you respond to what they say or do.
Change your perspective from “I can’t do it” to “How can I do it?

In Zen language, there is a word “douji,” which means “to put oneself in the same position as the other person.

If you find it difficult to do so, it may be easier to communicate by creating a situation where you can talk directly with the other person.

If it is difficult to put yourself in the other person’s shoes at that time, the following points are recommended. The following is just an example.

We want to build a good relationship with each other.
We want to know how best to build a good relationship.
I want to hear what you have to say to achieve this.
It is best to ask detailed questions so that you can get detailed answers such as, “What specific situation are you having trouble with and what would be the best situation?

If the question is “something that would be beneficial to the other party” in this way, communication is likely to be pleasant in many cases.

Of course, when you are discussing, please take the time to listen to the other person’s story to the end, and then talk about it.



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