In order to solve the problem of not being successful in a relationship, it is a shortcut to change your mind and way of thinking.
First of all, you can’t control people’s minds and feelings. But you can control your inner self.
There is a saying in Zen that each other’s bodies are as important as the tree of enlightenment, and the mind is like a mirror. The idea is that this mind is like a mirror.
Here are some concrete ways to change your mindset.
１：What do you like about him?
It’s great to like people. First, if you don’t like yourself, you don’t like people.
But this can be a point. It’s about what part of the person you like.
If you like someone else’s terms, don’t you think you can’t like yourself without them?
For example, because they look good, because they have money, or because they think they will be better in the future. If you turn it around, you are connected to yourself.
I can like myself if I look better. I wish I could spend more money. I like myself who is considered excellent by people around me.
What do you think? Perhaps, even if it’s not so direct, it means you love yourself with “conditional”.
But then unconditional love becomes harder to accept.
Because you don’t like yourself unconditionally, your partner doesn’t love you unconditionally.
If you want unconditional love from others! If you think so, I recommend you to love yourself unconditionally.
２：What’s wrong with him?
In other words, please tell me the characteristics of the person you don’t like. There will be various things such as saying bad things about others, acting rude, and changing one’s attitude depending on the person.
This actually leads to something you don’t like. If you really don’t have it, people don’t react. I don’t hate it.
However, if there is something that makes you feel strongly that you don’t like it or that you don’t like it, it is something that you don’t approve of. Let’s say you have a bad time because someone you don’t like likes you.
Don’t you have a bad part of that person? Judging people by their appearance, prioritizing only their own thoughts, boasting only and not listening to others, etc.
Surprisingly, there are many things that people don’t notice.
３：Way to be loved by the people one likes
Here are some ways you can make yourself loved.
First, assume that you are the person you love. What do you do for him?
For example, let him eat delicious food, say nice words every day, and dress him in his favorite clothes.
I’m sure many things will happen. Do it for yourself one by one.
In order to be loved by that person, we let him do what he would like to do.
Many people who think that they are not liked by the person they like do not treat themselves as the person they like. That’s because you don’t treat yourself like an important person.
４：When you don’t know what you like
If you don’t know what you like, or you don’t have anything to do.
In that case, please be aware of these two things.
First, they don’t do what they don’t like or dislike. It doesn’t matter if it’s a small thing or anything. At first glance, it may seem like a lot of crap, but if you accumulate enough, you’ll be able to save up for it.
Even if you can’t sympathize with anyone, you can be criticized by someone, so please look at it from that point of view.
For example, I don’t like washing dishes. I don’t have much interest in fashion, so it’s troublesome to think about things by myself.
Second, if not, think about what makes you happy.
If you don’t like washing dishes, you can buy a dishwasher.
If you’re not interested in fashion, find a more efficient way to do it than spending your time there.
For example, they copy fashion magazines as they are, or ask their fashionable friends about their secrets.
５：Make time to face what’s important
In today’s information society, it has become really easy to get various information by yourself. Sometimes it’s useful, sometimes it’s just a game changer.
But the thing that never changes in any age is that you stay with yourself until you die.
In that case, you should be aware that the important thing is that you decide only by information.
You can spend a few minutes a day with yourself. I’m sure you’ll find something you want to solve.